Twitter Theater presents...

Twitter at the Siege of Yorktown

Any similarity between the characters and persons living or dead is strictly coincidental. However, I would like to thank the 40 or so people I'm following on Twitter for their inspiration. Icons are from clipart.com, all rights reserved.

Cast of Characters……………....……..played by

MeFirst…………………........General Washington
YankeeYuppie……Aide to General Washington
Glutton4Gluttony…………...……Lord Cornwallis
DandyCandy…………...Aide to Lord Cornwallis
WillSail4Wine.………French Admiral De Grass
FuturePresident.…………..Alexander Hamilton
DocBentIt…………………......…Town Intellectual
PrivateAnon ……..Continental Army Private
InnkeepersDaughter……......……….…Anonymous
IDontStink………………......…High Society Lady
MatronlyMom……......……Working Class Woman

Note:Unlike a regular blog post, Twitter starts at the bottom and scrolls up. Our story starts at the bottom of the post and ends here.



DocBentIt FUNFACT: French people have 6 toes on each foot. #NewResearch




IDontStink My betrothed and I strolled along the wharves this afternoon. We met several gallant French Naval Officers. #2ndThoughts




MatronlyMom Fresh rat flanks ½ off @MidtownMarket




MeFirst @Glutton4Gluttony Very well, I’ll accept at noon this Inst'. #pwned




Glutton4Gluttony @MeFirst For the Love Of God man, I implore you, accept my sword. I’ve not had good veal in a fortnight.



PrivateAnon @MeFirst Begging the General's pardon, Sir, May I request you let them starve? I’d give a months wage to see @Glutton4Gluttony in a size 3 corset.



YankeeYuppie @MeFirst Could you hold off a little while longer General? I’ve got 2 bits on @DandyCandy not surviving.



Glutton4Gluttony @MeFirst It would appear you have the advantage, Sir. I’m prepared to offer my sword at your earliest convenience



DocBentIt FUNFACT: Surplus Continental Army bread doubles as a coarse cement. #NewResearch




DandyCandy @WillSail4Wine That’s DandyCandy you illiterate swine. I’m currently living in a mud puddle with commoners #disgusting.



WillSail4Wine @MeFirst I’ve dispatched the British fleet and am moving into range of the town. Where did you say @CandyAssDandy lived?


Two weeks later…



FuturePresident @PrivateAnon If I ever find out who you really are, I'll have you horsewhipped.




MeFirst @FuturePresident Very well, then. Proceed.




PrivateAnon @FuturePresident Good thinking Colonel, dying will definitely give us something to do.



FuturePresident @MeFirst @YankeeYuppie But the troops are idle. Attacking will raise morale and give them something to do.



PrivateAnon @FuturePresident Begging the Colonel’s pardon, how many is 10?




MatronlyMom My 7 yr old knocked over an entire hogshead of molasses in the barn and didn’t tell anyone. I’ll be scrubbing sticky cow hooves all morning now.



YankeeYuppie @FuturePresident Request denied. Fort number 10 has no strategic value whatsoever.



MatronlyMom My 13 yr old left a Bullfrog in the night pot for me last night. I didn’t get any sleep at all after that.



FuturePresident @MeFirst @YankeeYuppieI’ve found an opening in the line near fort number 10. Permission to attack?



DocBentIt FUNFACT: New poll out, women prefer men who bathe more than thrice a year to men who don’t. TinyBraodsheet83 #ClarkesvillePostDispatch


InnkeepersDaughter @WillSail4Wine I don’t presume you’ll be making port in Charleston to ‘re-provision’? ;)




WillSail4Wine @YankeeYuppie I’m off the coast of Carolina. This wind sucks.




YankeeYuppie @WillSail4Wine The General requests you make haste. The British fleet is approaching the bay.



Two weeks later…



IDontStink My betrothed ‘let one go‘ at supper tonight, right in front of everybody, then he blamed it on my plum pudding. #ihatehim



DocBentIt FUNFACT: Witchcraft due for a comeback, human soul weighs 3.2 ounces, more Vermont goblin sightings TinyBraodsheet81 #CottonMatherInst.ofScience



MatronlyMom I’m at the market. All they have that’s fresh are rats. I’m getting the putrid beef instead, again. :(



YankeeYuppie @DandyCandy Speaking of which, is it true they have to hide the livery boy whenever you’re @3ForksTavern? #pwned



DandyCandy @YankeeYuppie Bring it Hillbilly. I’ve heard what the ladies say about your aim. #pwned



IDontStink Just heard my betrothed traded his thoroughbred for a washer woman and a used carriage. # iluvhim



YankeeYuppie @DandyCandy The General desires that I remind you we have plenty of powder and shell for the artillery, and we know where you live.



WillSail4Wine @MeFirst Finally rounded up the crew and set sail, departing St. Martinique. This better be worth it.



DandyCandy @MeFirst Lord C. does NOT tweet with rabble. Go back to your pig farm, Nature Boy.




DocBentIt FUNFACT: tooting low grade snuff, 3 times daily reduces risk of sinus infection 10% #newresearch



MatronlyMom I dumped the night-pot out the window. Someone drank WAY TOO MUCH ale last night. I’m making breakfast now.



MeFirst @Glutton4Gluttony Good morning, Your Rotundity. I do hope the artillery hasn't been disturbing your sleep. I am prepared to entertain the terms of your surrender, should you feel the need.