The Specter Trade

Republican Senator Arlen Specter was traded to the Democrats today for an undisclosed amount of cash and a governorship to be named later. In a prepared statement, Coach Harry "Silver Tongue" Reid said of the deal: "Arlen's unique abilities to drone on and on without ever coming to a point will be very helpful in the upcoming health care debate. We welcome him to our team."

Not all Republicans were happy with the deal. Maine's Olympia "White Shoes" Snowe, after expressing disappointment in not being part of the trade said, "I hope this doesn't mean that it's going to be all principles all the time now. It's so tedious. I just don't understand it. What's the point of having principles if you can't ride around in a limousine the rest of your life?"

Republican coach Mitch McConnel stated: " We really wanted to make Olympia part of the deal, but we were up against the deadline and couldn't get it done. They were only willing to give up a county commissioner seat in DeBuque for her. We just couldn't make it happen."

Team Democrat now has a virtual "Murderers Row" of gasbags to overwhelm all opposition. Coach Reid even went on to speculate that after ramming through everything everyone ever wanted, they may try to make history by redirecting the course of a tornado later this summer.